In part 3 of Basses, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, we discussed all of the hassles that go into the modern double bass-laden air travel experience. While flying with a bass has never exactly been a joy, each passing year makes it more and more of a not fun experience.
This tale of mine happened during a particularly bad day of pre-9/11 travel, at the tail end of an unsuccessful audition (the perfect time for the following events to occur). While this story may seem extreme to non-bassists, it is simply par for the course for most air travel-hardened bassists.
Most of my colleagues have a story remarkably similar to this. If you’re one of the lucky few bass layers who have escaped the airline industry unscathed, just keep flying—you’ll soon have your own tale of woe!
__________
I knew something was wrong as I stood in the baggage claim area of Chicago’s Midway Airport (the one with the cheapo flights that most poor music students take to auditions). I had just returned from an unsuccessful Seattle Symphony audition, my weathered ATA “vacation pass” (that’s what ATA called their boarding passes a few years ago), covered in drawings of palm trees, stuffed into my pocket.
(photo credit – jen clix)I was waiting at the oversize baggage area for ATA, just as I always did every time I flew with a bass. This was at the tail end of an era in which I flew pretty regularly with a bass, whether going to festivals, auditions, or even home for vacation. Although I hated flying, I had definitely become a pro at maneuvering a bass around an airport, and one of the things I had learned was that basses always came out of a side door being pushed by a baggage dude.
No one would be silly enough to feed a bass trunk through the regular baggage chute. After all, the thing was huge and weighed a ton. Putting it though a narrow baggage chute , up on the conveyor belt and down onto the slanted metal carousel that Midway uses for its baggage would be, well……….crazy.
(photo credit – vasta) I learned a valuable lesson about ATA baggage handlers that day. They’re crazy!
As I stood patiently next to the oversize baggage door, waiting for the flashing light and the accompanying baggage dude pushing my bass case, I heard a commotion over at the regular baggage carousel.
I looked over.
To my horror, a long white neck was emerging from the baggage conveyer belt. Like the Titanic in reverse, I saw my precious bass, bridge side down (!) and neck first, ascending the narrow ramp, approaching the precipitous drop-off down onto the rotating metal carousel.
Does anyone out there remember that game ‘Cliff Hangers’ from The Price is Right? The one with the little mountain climber who got closer…closer….closer to the edge until (BAM!) he fell to the ground? That’s what my bass looked like.
Another stereotypical image from T.V.—picture a wine glass on a tray tipping over at a busy party. The host notices it and….slow motion…makes a dive for it….the glass nears the floor…its liquid spilling out, ready to stain…the look of horror on the host’s face as he dives for it…
Now plaster my face over the host’s face and replace that wine glass with my bass. I remember turning and making a helpless dash toward that metal carousel.
Nooooooo……..!
The bass neck rose out of the depths of the baggage chute like some great white beast, rising higher and higher until the bridge finally cleared the lip of the belt.
Bang!
Crash!
(photo credit – .damien)The case actually got air as it toppled off of the conveyor belt, striking the metal carousel as surprised baggage picker-uppers scattered to get out of the way. It landed on the ground with a resounding crash at an impossible angle, rolled a half-turn, and came to rest on the ground.
Everything became eerily quiet to me as I blocked out all ambient airport noise, approaching my case with dread. I pulled out my Allen wrench (this was back in the days when one could carry things like Allen wrenches on a plane without a second glance) and began to undo the closers. I pulled the bass (zipped up in its soft case) out of the trunk and began to unzip it and have a look.
Uh oh.
My neck block was totally shattered, the fingerboard against the belly of the bass, wood splinters everywhere. The photo below is an actual photo of my bass after this accident, taken in the repair shop where I had the work done.
Great.
And I had an audition two days later.
Extra great.
I marched over to the ATA customer service desk and proceeded to have a very unhelpful encounter with the employees there, resulting in me filling out a bunch of forms.
Six months later, I got a $100 voucher…for my next flight with ATA! As if.
It took four months and cost over $5000 for this to get repaired. All par for the course in the life of a traveling bassist.
Again, although this was an ultra-annoying and costly experience for me, I am sure that the majority of bass players who check in on the blog here have stories that easily top this. Feel free to chime in with your own experiences, and we can all share in our airline misery together.
__________
Read the complete series:
subscribe to the blog – subscribe to the podcast
Bass News Right To Your Inbox!
Subscribe to get our weekly newsletter covering the double bass world.
Jason,
I am going on a tour to Dallas this week and I a borrowing a bass to play on. I won’t play my bass, however I can fly like a normal person. Some airlines aren’t even letting people but basses on the plane. Bass players are always pretty friendly and have compassion for the “extra baggage” we always have to deal with.
To bassists out there, borrowing or renting a bass is always an option.
Don’t you wish you played the flute?
Just Kidding Of Course
Grillo, Inc.
Hi Jason. That just hurts. My story is more or less the same, but I managed to come out unscathed, albeit completely horrified. Great, tragic post.
Rick McLaughlin
I had a very similar story, and a very similar shattered neck block, on a SwissAir flight in 2001 – specifically, September 4, 2001. I didn’t see my trunk’s deadly crash, though I imagine I would probably still be having nightmares if I had! I sent my poor severed bass to Robertson’s the next day, and didn’t see it again until December.
As it turned out, a week later the whole world was just as shocked and horrified as I was; all of the sudden it seemed almost trivial to complain. Almost.
You are a great writer — right up there with Dave Berry.
As for the woes of the traveling bassist: I had just joined my first bass forum Monday, asking how one gets his bass from Iowa to Italy. After reading this blog, I think my son will rent basses wherever he goes.
But he’s hoping to study the jazz scene in Milan for a year (or semester) after he learns Italian and completes at least one year of college (that would be next year).
Cheaper to BUY a new bass in Italy than pay $5K in repairs, right????
C
My bass neck snapped off in a straw case back in 1981 while touring the USA with the Toulouse Chamber Orchestra for 2 months. Everything went fine up until the 33rd and final concert.
On the way back to France, I preferred transporting the neck and fingerboard with me on the plane. I wrapped it up in t-shirts securely fastened with rubber bands. Its other half traveled back in its case. As I entered security, the security guards thought it I was carrying a MACHINE GUN and I was strongly questioned about my hidden intentions.
From all of the horror stories that I have read on this blog, mine is probably the only one where a bass player has been ultimately compared to a terrorist.
Things may now change after all of our needless travel suffering. Airline companies shouldn’t be surprised if we now start seeking some soothing revenge!
Thanks for the great comments on this latest story. It’s great to hear that people are enjoying the writing. I really enjoy writing these tales, and I’ve got a whole slew of them that I’m thinking about and working on all the time.
Getting your neck snapped off is not something that is much fun, but add the suspicion of you being a terrorist….uuugh.
A few weeks ago, I would not have known the pain and the frustration that must be like having your neck snapped off on the bass. However, last week my neck broke off after a hard slam on the floor of my car. In a rush to a rehearsal I was pulling my bass out of the car when my hand slipped and the bass fell right into the floor of my minivan. Opened up my bag and there ya have it! The neck snapped right off.
And I had All State in three days!
Luckily, my teacher allowed me to borrow his bass and before going up to Rochester (The Conductor was a friend of yours; Dennis Brown) I brought my bass in to be repaired.
I horrible experience, I hope neither of us experience it again!
Amen to that! Nothing like having that broken bass neck flop out of the case when you open it.
Apparently, we aren’t the only ones that airlines hate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YGc4zOqozo&feature=channel